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Wednesday, 29 September 2010

My Bessie....

I have often talked about Mr and Mrs Bessie on my blog, today I want to talk about them a bit more, so this isn't a WOYWW post but a WIMHW - Whats in My Heart Wednesday.
On Monday afternoon Mr Bessie lost his very long and very courageous fight with the evil cancer. I was privileged enough to be there with them to share his last few days and last few moments. We will never know but it was almost like he had planned it all so he knew she would not be there alone when he passed away. I had gone down for our usual Ally Pally trip, and after we returned he went downhill very quickly. He didn't need to ask he would have just known I would never in a zillion years leave her until their family got there and he also knew I couldnt bear to say goodbye to him on Sunday and leave never to see him again. Then most importantly he waited until all his children were around him. Ever the considerate man.
Let me tell you about John. There will be no false platitudes, as hard as I rack my brain, I can find no faults. John was simply the nicest person anyone could know. From the moment I met him, when he came to the door in his red fleece and gardening moccasins I loved the man. When Matt first met him, he said 'He is just a thoroughly nice man' and that sums him up.Edward and Georgina just adore their 'JohnJohn' Everyone I know who knows John loves him. I have only known them for 5 years, since just after he was diagnosed. Sparky and I met on a forum and simply clicked, from that day we have been 'bessies' like it was meant to be. Not long after that I had two Bessie's - how lucky am i?
But let me tell you a story.. it has always amused me. When Sparky joined the DC forum, John quite rightly warned her about chatting on the cyberwaves (you know the kind of pep talk I have given my children about the dangers of the cyberworld) and when we arranged to first meet at Ally Pally, again he warned her to be careful - heaven knows there are axe murders out there, but she felt quite safe under the palm tree in a very public place, cos she could make a quick getaway if any of the group she was meeting decided to kidnap her. - All sensible precautions so far eh??
So.... tell me, why a few months later whilst they were up in his beloved Scotland, did he take her to meet another lady she had meet via the forum, who lives in a very remote farmhouse miles from anywhere, drop her off at the door and then just drive off???? I would like to point out that the lady in question and her husband are not axe murders and are lovely people - but where was his logic in this case?? John, you never ceased to amaze me!
Anyway, once he realised that I was probably trustworthy, I was welcomed into his life with open arms - this brings me to the hugs - John liked a hug, and how it started I just cant remember but there was soon a queue of ladies waiting for a cyber hug - so much so I had to form a hug list on the DC forum,(I made sure I was always number one!!) some ladies were fortunate enough to get a real one from him but they had to toe the line or else I would knock them off - He was definitely the king of hugs . He once said to me, 'I never thought I would end up a stud' - I had to point out to him that was going a bit far LOL
As a family we have so many memories to cherish, especially last Christmas when John was not well enough to travel to spend the time with his family, hopefully we were the next best thing. It was a wonderful time, he said he never imagined in a million being in bed with us all opening his stocking. Mind you I don't know how he survived the look he got from Sparky when he turned round and said 'That was the best meal I have had in years' - as soon as he said it he realised the error of his ways and had that scared look of a rabbit caught in a cars headlights.

Gawd I cannot tell you how much I loved the man, but he knew. His daughter in law once told me that she 'couldnt have loved him more even if they shared the same DNA' and that is exactly how I feel, she summed it up perfectly.

How lucky am I to have been a small part of his life.

I will leave you with a poem, written by one of his many fans on the DC forum


"Armed Salute" by the Huggers.


A tribute to a much-loved King of Hugs, and to the courageous fight of a gentle man against illness.


Let Chat be hushed
A while today...
The King of Hugs
Has slipped away.

For those who loved him,
And held him dear,
May comfort come
From far and near.

A tribute to courage,
A thought for the way
He faced up to illness,
Yet little did say.

How to express
The sadness we feel?
Our pain isn't virtual
For a cyber-friend real.

In memory of John
At Nicks' request...
May hugs continue!
Our King is at rest.

by KK


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How lucky am I to have loved someone it was so hard to say goodbye to

RIP Treacle. xxxx

44 comments:

  1. That is simply beautiful Nicks, thank you for sharing it with us. I had tears running down my face as I read it. RIP to the to the King of Hugs and loadsa hugs for you and Sparky. Jenny xx

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  2. What a beautifully written, and clearly heartfelt, tribute

    John sounds like a truly amazing man and you are lucky to have had him in your life, if for far too short a time

    Sitting at my desk at work trying not to let anyone see I’m weeping

    Take care

    xx

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  3. Oh crumbs I am having a weep too, a beautiful tribute Nicky. x

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  4. I can tell that that was written from the heart Nicks
    such a lovely man known and loved by so many people, even people that had not met him, but had heard about him on DC
    rest in peace mr sparklysparkles
    big hugs for you Nicks
    xx

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  5. That is great Nicks.
    Lynne x

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  6. Beautiful, Nicks... thank you for sharing.
    Kathkat.

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  7. Nicks, that is a wonderful tribute to such a wonderful, lovely and kind man. I was lucky enough to have a few hugs in real life, lots that you passed on for me and zillions of virtual hugs via Docrafts. He may have gone on to greater things now, but he will always be in our hearts and the hugs will go on in his memory. RIP Mr Sparkles, and remember, I'm still No 2 in the hug queue! xxx
    LINKON

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  8. Oh Nick, I'm so sorry to read this. They sound a very special couple & one that will stay in your heart always.

    xxxxxxxxxxx

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  9. I'm so sad to hear about the passing of your special friend Nicks, your tribute is beautiful. Hugs to both you and Sparkles xxxx

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  10. I was never fortunate enough to meet Mr.S but you could just tell,by the way others spoke of him,that he was a lovely man.My heart goes out to Sparkles and her famiy and also to you because he ,along with your besie,had become such a big part of your life.xxxhugsxxx
    Barbara.

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  11. One of life's rarities was John; a genuinely lovely chap. Your piece sums him up beautifully. xx

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  12. Thank you for sharing that with us all. What a special man to have had in your life.
    Hugs to all concerned.
    A x

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  13. Hi ya hun
    big hugs, that was a beautiful tribute you wrote for John, im blubbing now, gorgeous memories with the phtos. A very beautiful poem by KK.
    So sorry to hear the news hun, big hugs for you & sparkles, lots luv & kisses sue,xxxx

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  14. Simply beautiful Nicks ,

    Paula T xxx

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  15. Thank you for sharing your thoughts about the King of Hugs, beautiful poem and beautiful to read, long may he be in your memories. Tracy Evans (18).

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  16. What can I say that hasn't already been said, only that you are such a lucky lady to have had two such wonderful people in your life. If everyone had this chance, the world would be a better place. No one can take away your happy memories of this true gentleman and of course you still have your bessie to relive in your memories the happy times spent with both of them. I feel privileged to have known them both, albeit just through reading the posts on DC and your wonderful tribute on here. RIP John and hugs to yourself, Sparkles and your families. Susan Johnson xxxxxxxxxxx

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  17. Nicks, that is a lovely tribute. I was lucky enough to meet John and he was a true gentleman. But I wasn't in his hug queue like some!!!
    Garry Linkon

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  18. Nicks this is a lovely heartfelt tribute to a man who was obviously very well loved. Am sure you will continue to give your Bessie support. Thanks for showing all the lovely photos. xx

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  19. Nicks that is the most beautiful tribute I have read, one purely from the heart, I am so very sorry hun to sparkles and to you, sending you all the biggest of hugs, much love.Joey.xxx

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  20. What a moving tribute. Thinking of you.

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  21. A fitting tribute to a lovely man who will be missed so much by all. Joyce Mc xx

    Hope you find some comfort in this poem.

    Keep my memory with you,
    For memories never die,
    I will be there with you,
    When you look across the sky.
    I will be there in the clouds,
    In the birds that fill the air,
    In the beauty of a fragrant rose,
    You will find my memory there.
    You will feel me in the tenderness,
    Of a tiny baby's touch,
    You will here me if you listen,
    In the twilights gentle hush.
    When your hearts are heavy,
    And you feel that you are alone,
    Just reach down deep inside of you,
    For your heart is now my home.

    I will always be with you,
    I will never go away,
    For I will live on in your hearts,
    Forever and a day.

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  22. Such a lovely tribute to a gentleman who was clearly very loved and very loving.

    x

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  23. What a fabulous tribute Nicks to a thoroughly gorgeous man.

    I met and hugged John once and he is in my heart forever.

    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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  24. Thank you for sharing your memories of this lovely man with us.

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  25. what a fitting tribute to the wonderful Mr S - keeping youall in my thoughts as you face the next tough days safe in the knowledge that you can help each other through and hopefully, in time - memeories of good times will help comfort you xxx

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  26. Oh Nicks what a lovely moving tribute sending sparkles and you loads of love and ((HUGE HUGS)) - Liz

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  27. A very moving and wonderful tribute Nicks, am sure that knowing he was so loved made these years since diagnosis very much easier for him. YOu stay in my thoughts Nicks.

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  28. A lovely story Nicks and wonderful photos
    Anne x

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  29. What a lovely tribute Nicks,sending my prayers and thoughts to you all, luv Georginax

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  30. Thanks for sharing your tribute to such a lovely man. He was lucky to have found you.

    Sue xx 15

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  31. Beautifully written and so heartfelt too. Even though he has physically gone from your life I'm glad you had the opportunity to know and love him, people like him make the world a better place for everyone.

    Hugs to you all,
    Brenda

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  32. Aw, Nicks, you set me off again. Beautiful tribute, written with so much love. The world will obviously be a poorer place with the loss of Mr S. Sending hugs all round, always.
    Elaine x x x

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  33. Sorry to hear this news, but this is a lovely tribute. Thinking of you and especially Sparkles, hugs Cindy xx

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  34. I'm SO sorry for your loss. You left a loving and heartfelt tribute to this man who must have been the influence in yours and others' lives.

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  35. What a beautiful post. It really is a rare treat to have a hug from a thoroughly good man; fortunately I know this from personal experience. Your stories made me laugh, as well - that bewildered look on the face of a man who has said something tactless, is priceless! I'm so sorry you've lost your friend, it sounds as if his last years were happy ones.
    Helen (16)

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  36. Such a lovely tribute to a lovely lovely man. The nearest I ever got to john was to speak to him on the phone,which was great, I would have loved to have been able to give him a hug though.He touched the hearts of those who met him, and of those who never had the privelige. Nicks, you have been the best Bessie EVER to John and Sparky, always being there when they needed you, it was fitting that you were there at the end. I know you are going to continue being there for Sparky now that John has gone, and he knew that, who else could do a better job. God bless you. Ejay. xxxxxxxxxx

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  37. I've neglected my blog reading of late and managed to miss this post...goodness knows how...so apologies Nicky for this comment coming to you so late. This is such sad news about John and my heart goes out to the lovely Sparkles. You have been such a wonderful friend to both John and Sparky and I'm sure you will continue to support her through her dark times....you will be there for her because you always are and she is very lucky to have you as a friend. But losing such a valuable friend is hard for you too....so I am sending you my biggest hugs and thoughts too. This is such a lovely tribute you have posted...the poem is perfect. Takes cares. Ange x

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  38. Nicks, a lovely tribute to a man you obviously adored . They are blessed to have you as friend
    Hugs x

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  39. I have only just caught up with the sad news. A wonderful tribute to a wonderful man. Give Barbara a hug from me, and have one yourself. John will be sadly missed.

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